An Excerpt from ‘TITLE 13,’ by Michael A. Ferro

Thirty-seven pages of highly classified TITLE 13 material were reported missing at the Chicago Regional Census Center on Wednesday morning. At five p.m. on Tuesday, after the employees of the Windy City’s RCC had packed their sensitive data into large, regulated heavyweight folders and filed them neatly away into their sturdy desks under lock and […]

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An Excerpt from ‘Paul Ryan Magazine’: Proust Questionnaire, by Anna Heyward

What is your greatest fear? My greatest fear is of teens, and the possibility of a reckless, bullying majority that they represent. It is worst when they are polite; that’s when I am most likely to have something thrown at me. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? The worst things about me […]

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An Excerpt from ‘The Best American Emails,’ by Amanda Meadows

You’re Invited to a Screening of ~HOCKEY JERKS~ To: amandasjunkmail@ymail.com From: thescreenery@screenery.film Subject: You’re Invited to a Screening of ~HOCKEY JERKS~ SCREENINGS’ GREETINGS! Hey [amandasjunkmail@ymail.com], Thanks for participating with The Screenery! We’d like to invite you to a screening in your area of the upcoming feature film, Hockey Jerks! Here’s all of the information you […]

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An Excerpt from ‘Man vs. Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting’ by Doug Moe

WHAT WILL TODDLERS EAT? Food used to be one of your top five things—remember brunch?—but toddlers ruin food. You try to serve them healthy things, lovingly crafted, only to see them reject or smash them. Just a short bit ago, you were trying so damned hard to get them off the bottle, and now eating […]

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An Excerpt from ‘Man vs. Child: One Dad’s Guide to the Weirdness of Parenting’ by Doug Moe

WHAT WILL TODDLERS EAT? Food used to be one of your top five things—remember brunch?—but toddlers ruin food. You try to serve them healthy things, lovingly crafted, only to see them reject or smash them. Just a short bit ago, you were trying so damned hard to get them off the bottle, and now eating […]

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An Excerpt from ‘Danger…With a Hard G’ by Matthew David Brozik

“You won’t mind if I ask to see some identification, I’m sure. It’s precinct policy.” The cheerfulness of the property clerk behind the window told me her shift had only recently started. And she was new to the squad on top of that. I could only see her head and upper torso, but that told […]

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